Let me preface this by saying: I could care less what your personal lifestyle choice is. But for crying out loud - don’t rub it in everyone’s face.
I went to my husband’s company picnic this afternoon - which was actually fun this year. We wound up sitting next to these hardcore vegans. My husband had warned me about this couple in particular because he speculated that they’d be unhappy with the choice of food (from Rudy’s barbeque). These are the people that when shopping at Whole Foods, will cruise the butcher aisle and say loudly “Look! It’s the murder section.” (This is according to my husband who ran into them there). Sure enough, in the buffet line, Mrs C, who was standing next to me gave this long suffering heavy sigh and said “there’s never anything I can eat these things”. (While liberally helping herself to the organic hummus she brought).
The imp inside me, gave a sly smile. And couldn’t resist.
I piped up and in my brightest voice “well, how fortunate that leaves plenty for the rest of us.” I smiled sweetly and went to sit down.
Look, I don’t care if someone is vegan, vegetarian, meat eating, tofu only, soy protein only, whatever. But bringing up your choice every chance you get and being disdainful and critical of the rest of us (while inwardly patting yourself on the back for your virtuousness!) is just self-righteous blather. Spare us.
P.S. Dear Mrs C: Your husband is cheating on you. I saw him nibbling some Rudy’s barbequed pork when you weren’t looking.
I think I read somewhere that the beginning of the story & the conclusion are the hardest to write. That the middle, the body, just falls into place. It’s the start that is tricky though. At least that is how it is for me when I sit down to write.
Lately, I have not felt sassy. Definitely not a sassy mama, that is for sure. I have felt worn. And sad, really. I confessed last night to my husband that I am so very unhappy.
One of the things that is making me miserable is I am lonely. You see, all my female friends, my kindred spirits, live out of state now. Susan & Jessica have always lived far away, in the Four Corners area & Colorado respectively. Then my best friend Holly, the “Diana” to my “Anne”, moved to Kansas City. That was and is, hard. Then Allison’s husband got a great job in Austin - so they moved. I miss her sweet kids too - they always called me “Mrs. Yates” which made me look over my shoulder for my mother in law, but I still liked it. The final exodus was Joanna. Her husband got accepted into grad school at Baylor - so they moved to Waco. She always laughed like crazy at my jokes. I am totally missing out on watching her babies grow up too. These are all lovely women, with whom I can be the real me. My authentic self.
There are other women of my acquaintance who I am friendly with. Who I like and they seem to like me too. But not kindred spirits yet. And there are some where it feels like no matter my overtures of friendship, that things haven’t “gelled” and I feel a little slighted that it seems they don’t really want to hang out with me after all. You can’t force it though I guess.
Last Friday night, I was having dinner with my sweet little family at California Pizza Kitchen. They have this splash pad for kiddos right next to the patio seating. As my husband was finishing up feeding the baby I took the Little Man over to the pad so he could run around in the water. There was this other mom there, whose family was also eating at CPK. She and I struck up a conversation. Her name was Heather. We traded stats on our kids, their ages, the joys and trials of raising all boys (she had 3), what our husbands did, what we did.
And as I was sitting there chatting, I realized I was really enjoying the conversation with another woman. I got to fantasizing in my head that maybe we could be friends and go get coffee. I’m not normally like that either - I think friendship takes time and needs to grow organically. But I’m so lonely and crave female companionship so much, that I was willing to put that aside. I almost said something like “hey, I’m on Facebook or here’s my email address if you’d ever like to do a playdate” (mom speak for let’s hang out and drink coffee while our kids run amok).
I didn’t do any of that though. She smiled and left with her family & I left with mine. I told my husband as we were walking to the car, that I felt awkward and hoped I hadn’t come across as desperate or needy or stalkerish. In some days that is how I feel though. Never a good sign.
I’ve tried praying about this. I’ve asked God to send me a female kindred spirit. One who lives locally, preferably. So far He hasn’t. There must be a reason for that. But it still stings a bit.
In the meantime, I will keep doing what I always do. Taking care of my boys, my home. Reading. Watching my latest show obsession “Hart of Dixie” (so fun!), trying to finish the office remodel. Trying to not think about girl friends and being lonely.
I’m a huge bumGenius fan. So today when I heard they had a couple of new prints out, I was thrilled. BG doesn’t do a lot of prints, not like some cloth diaper manufacturers. When they do, it’s kind of a big deal for us cloth diaper aficionados.
For the laddies we have the “Irwin” print.
That’s right, they named it after the Australian wildlife expert, aka “The Crocodile Hunter”. So adorable! According to bumGenius’ press release: “Irwin is a camouflage-style print that features a variety of wildlife, including elephants, alligators and bears, in shades of Ribbit and Mirror with dark green and purple accents. “
And for wee damsels the sweet “Maathai” print.
Named such after Wangari Muta Maathai, she was a Kenyan environmental and political activist. She won the Nobel Peace prize in 2004 thus becoming the first African woman to do so. bumGenius describes the print as “Maathai consists of a floral design that features deep orange, Sassy, White and Mirror flowers on a Blossom background. Small ladybugs add a charming touch to this botanical print. “
I just may have to go out tomorrow and pick up an Irwin print for my little guy!
I realized this morning in the shower, I’ve been cloth diapering for two years now. From dipping my toe in, to taking the full on plunge. Here are some things I learned over the course of last couple of years.
I Love Cloth Diapering. No, really…I do. All of my original stash of diapers has paid for themselves & I am essentially using them for “free” on Mr. E (our second son) The colors are adorable. I love the “fluffy bum” effect. I don’t have to run to the store. I don’t have to price compare or clip coupons to get the best deal. I’ve got the best deal already: they are paid for in full!
Pick Your Favorite Brand & Stick With It. When I first started on this endeavor & then quickly fell in love with it, I decided I’d become a connoisseur of cloth diapers. I’d try all the brands! I’d write about them all! I bought BumGenius, FuzziBunz, Apple Cheeks, Happy Heiny’s, Doopsy, Blueberry, Lovely Pocket and Rumparooz. What *seemed* like a fun idea at the time - turned into a logistical problem quickly. Not all the inserts would fit every single diaper - meaning you had to know which insert went with which diaper. It took stuffing them all, forever. And made it hard on my husband who wasn’t doing it as often, to know what went where.
BumGenius quickly became our favorite brand and still is. Others did not hold up well & I’ve had to toss simply because they wore out and started causing problems. (I only recently learned that you can send off diapers for elastic repair if needed - opps!)
Go With What Works For Your Family. The cloth diaper purists will throw their heads back and yowl when they hear this but….you don’t have to cloth diaper full time, all the time. We CD during the day. At night, Mr. E goes into a disposable. We tried nighttime cloth diapering, but just couldn’t make it work for more than 6 hours at a stretch. I value my sleep (and sleep equals sanity!) too much. When Mr. E was a newborn, we didn’t start cloth diapering him until he was several weeks old. Give yourself a break & be flexible.
Laundering. Know Your Water/Machine/Etc.
If you have hard water, that effects your diapers. Don’t know if you have hard water? Call the water utility authority or look it up (Google “hard water area map”). Have a HE washer? That effects how you launder them. Going into it armed with as much research as you can really helps. And the sun? The sun is your friend! Line dry those suckers (or if you don’t have a clothesline, get a drying rack to go outside) because nothing will bleach them better.
Cloth Wipes are AH-MAY-ZING! When I started cloth diapering I thought cloth wipes sounded weird and really out there - like fringe, cloth diapering fanatic out there. But then I tried them. Oh my goodness! They work so much better than disposable wipes. You know those poopy diapers that take 6 or 7 wipes to clean up the mess? Cloth wipes take 1. BAM! And they seriously clean the skin way better! Plus, you can use the wipes (I love the Thirsties brand) for other purposes like wash cloths in the bathtub or after mealtimes.
To sum it up: I’m really glad we are cloth diapering. I love saving the money. I enjoy it in a hobby kind of way. But, I don’t sweat the small stuff either. I go with what works for me & my husband. I adore how precious my babies (well, now just one baby) looks in them. Who can resist this: